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(Are you under the impression you are awake right now?) by The Patronus System

We're honoured to share a poem about being homeless in a home, and the love of fiction by the Patronus System. Please get in touch if you have any DID related poetry, art or writing you'd like us to share! - Mia.


"Hey! We’re the Patronus System, a DID system of body age 22 in London, UK. We have approximately 35 known alters, hosted by Evelyn. All of us share a love of writing and advocacy, as well as (potentially obvious from our system name!) Harry Potter. For privacy reasons we prefer not to share social media widely, but look forward to getting to know people via this blog!"


(Are you under the impression you are awake right now?)


My mother used to say all I knew how to do was daydream…

I used to take it as an insult,

But now, I see, my ability to daydream, was the only thing that can salvage my sanity…


(Are you under the impression you are awake right now?)


I am blessed with the ability

To sleep in my own reality-

A fictophile of sorts, I suppose,

More happy between the pages of a story

Than I could ever be in this home.


(Are you under the impression you are awake right now?)


I am still the child waiting for the chime of 11 o’clock,

The teen who wonders whether I would be safer in the games,

The adult who hopes to find a love as pure and safe as I have read.


(Are you under the impression you are awake right now?)


Yet, I am not them-

For I am confined to the impermanence of flesh and bone,

While they are gifted immortality through ink.

I am not them,

But my heart sings every time I hear their names.


(Are you under the impression you are awake right now?)


My mother used to say all I knew how to do was daydream,

But no-

I knew how to hope in faith and trust and pixie dust.


(Are you under the impression you are awake right now?)


I am far from consciousness-

This body is fading as I become that orphan,

Raised in a world so different to their own.

For, I have been homeless for as long as I have had a home

(Pity all those who live without love)

I wish to go home,

I wish this was home,

I know that they are home.


Am I under the impression I am awake right now?

No- I am oblivious to the passage of time…

Night or day?

I cannot say-

I am awake but I am not here,

I beg for healing through these tears.

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